Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
