In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
