if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
