I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
