even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
well you can't waste a boner
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
