she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize