I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
