Duck Duck Cougar?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
