I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
