On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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