Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
