We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
