I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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