Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
