Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
