"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
