At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
