I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
