You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
