Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
