He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
