Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
