I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize