Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
