Cold hands, warm shart.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
