They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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