I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
