Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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