im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize