How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
