I hope mine doesn't look like that
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
