he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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