I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
