Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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