You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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