i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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