I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
