I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
