Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
