I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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