there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
