I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize