i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize