i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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