There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
