So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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