I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
