Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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