i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize