And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize