I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
