You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
