If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
did you just send me my own nude
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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