3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
