I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
