That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
