I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
