can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Let's get the cat blown out
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
